I f*cking hate small talk. I’ve been told by loved ones that I’m “almost too logical,” always thinking with my head over my heart, and I admit I’m a bit of a perfectionist. Self-awareness is important to me, so I’ve always recognized these traits in myself, but it wasn’t until I took the Myers-Briggs test that I realized there’s a name that describes my personality: INTJ. One of the 16 personality types, the acronym’s meaning stands for introvert (I), intuitive (N), thinking (T), and judging (J). I’m not usually one for seemingly arbitrary advice from things like horoscopes (reading my Virgo relationship forecast for the month doesn’t really do it for me), but the well-researched psychology behind this popular personality test hooked me. After marveling at the results and nodding my head at every single INTJ personality trait, I felt I got to know myself better and was reminded of the things that make me me.
“To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of ‘definiteness,’ of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature,” the results of my personality quiz stated. Simply put, INTJs know what they like and don’t like. And they definitely know what they hate. If you’re a fellow INTJ (or hoping to better understand one), here are some things that they really, really hate.
- Small talk. Did I mention I f*cking hate small talk? People with whom I’ve shared elevators and Lyft rides, I’m sure you’re all great, but I don’t care how you’re doing, how you feel about the weather finally cooling down, or how long you’ve lived in the city. The trivial nature of these conversations makes me cringe, and I’d rather remain absorbed in my music or my peace and quiet. “White lies and small talk are hard enough as it is for a type that craves truth and depth, but INTJs may go so far as to see many social conventions as downright stupid,” says 16 Personalities.
- Flakiness. INTJs are reliable, and when they say they’re going to be somewhere, they’ll be there. Probably a little early. They have no patience for people who flake out at the last minute on plans or tasks with a vague excuse.
- Blind obedience. It’s not that INTJs are outright rule-breakers, they just need to know why certain rules exist before taking them seriously. INTJs’ logical minds are always at work, and they aren’t afraid to question tradition.
- Irrational assumptions. INTJs don’t quickly jump to conclusions, and they’re often frustrated with people who do. For example, INTJs will not assume the worst in a situation and won’t worry until they are given a concrete reason to do so. The “T” in our personality type means we make decisions through thinking rather than feeling (F).
- Close-mindedness. Being so attached to rational thinking means that INTJs, while confident in their own opinions, are always open to hearing other perspectives. They get frustrated with people whose narrow-mindedness hinders their ability to think with empathy.
- Meaningless friendships. INTJs would rather have a small group of close friends than a large circle of acquaintances. It means more to them to have a core support system and a short list of people they truly care about than constantly getting invitations to hang out with people who don’t provide a fulfilling relationship. It’s about quality vs. quantity for them.
- Inefficient planning. INTJs don’t appreciate poor planning or indecisiveness. “Going with the flow” isn’t exactly a strong suit because they like the feeling of being prepared.
- Crowds. While a huge music festival or crowded bar might sound like the ideal night out to some people, INTJs would rather be at home in comfy clothes with a good book.
- Lazy work ethics. INTJs are not familiar with the concept of giving anything less than 100 percent to their jobs (even if it’s a job they’re not necessarily passionate about). They know their strengths, and they want to make sure other people can see them, too – this is where their perfectionism comes through. Slacking is not in their vocabulary, and they love meeting their goals.
- The spotlight. Although INTJs are confident, they would rather not be the center of attention. According to 16 Personalities, “It is often best for them to remain where they are comfortable – out of the spotlight – where the natural confidence can serve as its own beacon, attracting people of similar temperament and interests.”